Homo Thugs

One of the characters in Logo Network's NOAH'S ARC, Chance, has a recent tragedy (Boy, am I talking like these are real people. What do you think Tony Soprano?). His boyfriend cheated on him because he has and I dare quote, a "hankering for the homo thugs". There's an enthrancing scene (as entracing as three car pile up) where his boyfriend says in effect that he doesn't want to make Chance feel inadequate about telling him something he obviously cannot fulfill. To which Chance retorts: "Well how inadequate do you think your cheating will make ME feel?!"

I'm guilty of it. Not the cheating but of embracing hypermasculine ideals. I've walked away from possible good dates because the man was slightly effeminate. I have now resolved not to meet anyone online without talking to them first on the phone. Let's just say it involved a big muscle bear and a Prada bag that fell out of his mouth the minute he spoke.

Not that I'm a one on straightacting.com. My scale vascillates from my dominant inner leather daddy two to my Shirley Q liquor quoting, Memoirs of a Geisha embracing seven. People I work with usually cannot tell I'm gay (But they know something's up and usually the explanation that I'm an actor more than suffices).

I don't understand where it came from. But it seems that a lot of people echo the same kind of ideal. God knows I had more booty when I shaved my head than when I had long hair (and a lot less bisexuals).

Is it reactionary? I know the bodybuilding is a reaction of not wanting to be thought off as sick during the height of the AIDS crisis. And the surge of the bear culture is probably are statement against the muscle obsessed. And quite possibly drag queens are rebelling against being ignored and oppressed. Or against comfortable shoes.

Is it a question of roles? Being versatile, I've half jokingly said that the men I only allow to top me are those who would be able to throw me across the room or pin me down. A good friend of mine literally lost his hard-on because this guy whe was topping moaned a little effeminately.

In nature, the females choose the strongest male to mate with. Could it be self preservation that would want to couple with someone who could in turn protect us?

I don't know the answer. And I don't know that I'm concerned.

I should be , shoulnd't I?

Photo taken at South Orange Village with a Sprint camera phone and photoshopped.